When I started this blog I promised myself one post every other day. Well, I didn’t quite make it, but “a promise is a promise.” So, even though I couldn’t come up with a glass topic for today, let’s look at the idea of promises in the context of a couple of things.
First, what about a promise to yourself? Do you have to keep it? What are the ramifications if you don’t? Or what if you do?
Say you promise yourself you’ll get two stained glass panels done this week (obviously, neither very complicated nor very large projects.) But then, so many things happen during the week to distract you, that you barely get the first one cut out let alone finish any of them.
What happens next? Well, you’ll probably promise yourself you’ll get them done the next week, and, to make it all up to yourself, you’ll work in an extra little project to boot. Sound familiar?
Now, if you’d made such a promise to anyone else, what do you think they’d say?
Perhaps they’d offer a very sympathetic, “Oh, don’t worry about it. Whenever.” Or maybe a more frank, “Be realistic. Just finish the first two.” But do you think they’ll be holding their breath for those panels to get done?
So, back to you. You know yourself best. Do you really think you’ll keep that second promise to yourself to make up the first promise?
Maybe this one week was a fluke and things really did get out of hand. But then, maybe your life is like this all the time… unexpected distractions tugging at you and pressing responsibilities calling out your name… keeping you away from those promises you make to yourself.
Somehow, a promise to ourselves doesn’t seem as high priority as one to others, especially significant others. It sounds foreign (in our culture, at least) to say to someone who is interrupting us, “No, I just can’t now. I promised myself I’d finish this project by the end of the week.”
But why? Why shouldn’t we value the promises to ourselves as much as to others? Or is there something else going on here?
Well, for one thing, many creatives find it hard to value their own work, partly, I think, because it feels like play.
Yet, most self-help gurus will tell you, in order to be successful, to find something you love, even feel passionate about, and make that your work. So, aren’t they telling us to go out and play? That it’s okay and even important that we do?
But when it comes to the question of fulfilling a promise to ourselves or meeting someone else’s needs, we don’t feel right to be ‘playing’ when there’s ‘work’ to be done, especially for someone else.
Let me ask you… were you allowed to play as kids when there was work to be done around the house?
Don’t get me wrong; I’m very much in favor of kids having chores and errands. Not only does it help the family, it let’s children feel they’re an important part of the family unit, as well as, teaches them responsibility. But when it’s not okay to play at all, the wrong message is sent.
Many parents adhere to the strict work ethic that basically teaches work is work and, thus, valued, while play is just plain silly idleness. Please note, this stern philosophy never seems to teach that work can be enjoyable, too.
Even the old adage, “Play is the work of children,” seems to be saying that it’s okay for kids, but not adults.
So, look at your selftalk. It comes from the messages we gather as we grow up. Maybe if working at something you love and are passionate about had been a goal for us when we were young, we’d value our talents and creativity enough to say, “Not now. I have a promise to keep… to myself.”
Okay, this is getting long. So, I’m going to stop here for now. I’d like to continue this discussion if there’s any interest, and I invite your comments. Click the “Comments” link below. Do you have a hard time keeping promises to yourself? And how do you feel when you don’t? Do you know why you don’t?
I wish you a lot of fun and passion in your work. I’ll see you here soon, and that’s a promise.
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